he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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