You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I am available for nakedness
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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