Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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