how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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