You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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