I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
