He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I'm really busy with my period
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
