My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
