Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
