oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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