tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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