Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Farmville is her only friend.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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