I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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