I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
