You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
