i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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