Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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