so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
