Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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