Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
