im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
