For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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