I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
