You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
