So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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