me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize