If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
