highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
