all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
