Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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