is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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