I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
