You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
