i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
