I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
