Moan for me like Helen Keller
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
