Cold hands, warm shart.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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