I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
