I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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