Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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