And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
