Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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