I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My liver just broke up with me...
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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