this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
