he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
