Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
