Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
