Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
