so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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