I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
