You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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