I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
