Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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